You will be missed.

Wednesday morning, February 13th, at around 2 a.m. or so, the world lost one of the last good men. My grandfather, Arthur Simonsen, passed away.

There are things about him I couldn't tell you off the top of my head. I'm not sure exactly what year he was born, or even in what town. I don't know what year he married my grandmother, or where. These things never seemed to be as important as they seem now.

There are things I do know. I know he served in the army, which was part of my influence to do the same. I know he spent many long, hard years breaking his back working for the railroad to support his family. I know he had four children, and that he outlived one of them, which no parent should have to do. I know he had five grandchildren, and he outlived one of them, too, which might be even worse. I know he had a deep faith in God and Jesus Christ, in spite of, or maybe because of, all of these things.

I know he was a father to me during those years my father had better things to do. He took me camping, he took me fishing, he took me bowling. He came to many of my baseball games. He even came to a few of the plays I was in, even though I know that wasn't really his thing.

There are things I learned from him. I learned that working hard is important, that family always comes first, that you don't need money to be rich, and that you should give the shirt off your back without hesitation if it will help someone else. I learned that crying when you are sad or hurt doesn't make you any less of a man.

And of course, there are a few other more practical things that I learned from him. I learned you never take the radiator cap off when the engine is overheating. Or that it's apparently possible to build your own exercise equipment. I learned that dogs will always be better than cats and that puppies and babies turn grumpy old men into baby-talking old men. I learned that I could never squeeze his hand harder than he could squeeze mine. And I noticed that if you don't swear very often, it makes people pay more attention when you do. I found out that you can drive the same old dodge truck for roughly one hundred years if you keep up on the maintenance. I learned that you can fit a ridiculous amount of stuff into a truck camper if you really try. And last but not least, thanks to him, I know that a real man has a tool for everything, and if he doesn't you better be damn sure he can make one.

Arthur Simonsen, always just Grandpa to me, was never a proud man. He wasn't one to boast (except perhaps about the occasional bowling score). Mostly he was a quiet man, but he was great man, and he was loved by many people. He will be sorely missed in this world, and without a doubt welcomed with open arms in the next.

Goodbye, Grandpa. I love you, and I hope I'll see you again in a better place than this one.

Been awhile since I blogged so I thought I'd post an update just in case anyone has been wondering what I've been up to.

I just moved out of the Driftwood Apartments in St. Cloud into a house with a couple roommates over behind the Walgreens. So far it's going well, especially considering I found the place on Craigslist. Both of my roomies seem like they are pretty cool and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better.

I've been suffering a severe bout of writer's block for a little over a month now. It seems like every idea turns into about a thousand words and then hits a brick wall. I'm working on it.

I've decided to quit playing World of Warcraft. The game is a ridiculous time sink, and I've realized lately that the majority of my social interaction for the last year or so has been through my computer, and I really just don't think that's healthy. So, no more pointless online games for me. Time to get out and have a real social circle. Plus I think all the video games have killed brain cells and contributed to my writer's block.

The job search still hasn't panned out, which means I'm stuck in this dead end security job. I did, however, apply for a job with the Veteran's Administration as a Police Officer, so everyone keep your fingers crossed for me. It would give me about a 10k/yr pay bump, plus with it being a federal job it's got killer benefits. The application deadline was the 9th and I haven't heard anything yet, so I'm not sure what's going on. I figure if I don't hear from them by Wednesday I'll give them a call and politely request the status of my application. I'm hoping I at least get an interview, because nothing makes you feel quite as useless as a politely worded fuck-off letter. I really hate that "you don't meet our needs at this time" bullshit.

So I was about to apply to SCSU for spring semester when I discovered that I apparently owe $566.00 dollars to UWBC, which means the bastards won't release my transcripts, which means I can't go to college anywhere else until I get the money paid off. Why do you owe them $566.00, one might wonder? Hell if I know, since I discovered it through their online student self service thing, but I need to call and do some bitching, methinks.

I'm still single which is starting to upset me. Been single for about 15 months, which has been good for me, but now I'm just getting lonely.

Anyway, that about sums up current events. Life continues at its regular status of not good, but not bad.

Matt Wallace and Precision Pictures present...

Congratulations to Matt Wallace. He sold one (well, two actually, but this blog only concerns one of them) of his stories to Precision Pictures, an australian film company. Below is the mock-up the film company had made. It'll be used to pitch the movie to Hollywood, from what I understand.

"Wow! Nice picture!" I know that's what you're thinking. Well, that's because it was made by Ian Brown, the man responsible for the Paris scenes in Moulin Rouge, as well as one of the people responsible for the effects in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.






















Congratulations, Matt! Don't forget that when you're a millionare, I'm moving in and you're paying my bills.

Cheers,

Jason

So God, Allah, Thor, Shiva and Buddha all walked into a bar...

So, I was on youtube watching this amusing video series that I follow:



and, because I really have nothing better to do at work, started a comment argument with this guy which eventually ended up with him calling me an atheist, me saying I wasn't an atheist, and him wanting to know what I was.

This isn't the first time someone has wanted to know exactly what it is that I believe, so I thought I'd try to clear things up for anyone who gives a crap.

First off, let me say that my religious beliefs change like Paris Hilton's wardrobe.

I keep my mind open and I'm willing to listen to anyone, and I am always willing to modify my beliefs. I'm the one guy who doesn't slam the door in the faces of Baptists and Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. Even though they're usually full of crap, I give them the chance to speak their mind on the basis I might take something useful out of it.

But, for the time being, this is basically what I believe:

I am not an atheist. I don't believe in nothing. I don't think anyone who follows any particular religion is entirely wrong. I think its very likely that if you learned whatever the religious truth of the universe was, then proceeded to examine every major world religion, you would discover that everyone probably had some parts of it right.

I don't deny the existence of a higher power. Who, or what, that higher power is, is what escapes me. The Holy Bible has been raped, edited, re-translated, and censored so many times that it is no longer reliable as an historical document. The same goes for the Koran, the Torah, etc. The only reliable documents that remain intact are from Buddhism, which is commonly believed to be a religion, but is, in fact, merely a philosophy on how to live your life.

Yet, I also don't necessarily accept the existence of a higher power. I'm a person who has trouble believing in things I can't see.

I'm an agnostic. I choose not to choose. In the end, does it really matter? Just because I'm an agnostic doesn't make me evil or immoral. I just have no hard facts to prove anything one way or the other, so I choose to wait and see.

Now, hopefully, 10,000 years of deity-worshipping people can't be wrong. Something must've given people the idea that there was something out there. Basically, I just figure when I die, then I'll know. I can live with that. If Jesus, Mohammed and Moses all show up and start healing AIDS patients in the middle of Times Square, I can live with that too. But for now there is just no way to know.

Now, that part of me that has trouble believing in the invisible thinks that it is, of course, entirely possible that the first god was invented when the first child asked the first parent why the grass is green, or why the sky is blue. "Well, um, you see, there's this guy, and he made them that way." Easy enough, then. I'd like to think it didn't go down that way, but a large part of me thinks it did.

There you have it, then. That's what I believe. It's not clear, it's not concise, and maybe it doesn't even make any sense to you, but hey.


Now, here's my problem with many of the world's major religions:

Christianity: I have a problem sitting around waiting for the return of a guy who died 2,000 years ago. The bible insinuates Jesus Christ's disciples were positive he'd return in their lifetime, but he never did. The bible also says Jesus would return when the Temple in Jerusalem fell, but the Romans sacked the Temple and destroyed it in 70 A.D. Time and time again, the signs come and go, and Jesus stays on vacation.

I believe Jesus was a real man. I can even go so far as to believe he might've had some special ability to heal, maybe he was just a really good herbalist or alchemist of some kind, who knows? But the Son of God? Not likely. I don't believe Jesus rose from the dead. If Jesus were God, with as much love as he supposedly held for man, he would've been back a long, long time ago to set us on the right path. Love, not war, and all that hippy stuff.

Also, the virgin birth, I think, was a trick thrown in later to convert Greeks and Romans. Julius Caesar, Hercules, Plato...all were supposedly born of virgins. If Jesus was to be accepted in Rome, he'd have to be born of one too, naturally. For this same reason of easy conversion for other religions all of the Christian holidays have been moved to accomodate other religions. Jesus wasn't born on December 25th, and he didn't die and resurrect in April. These dates were moved to accomodate pagan solstices.

Also, as I mentioned, Christianity is based on an incomplete and inaccurately translated text. Most of the original bible scrolls are gone. Despite what most Christians think, the Bible was not written by God. The bible was written by prophets, a good many of whom were very likely insane (if some guy came up to you today in this world of modern science, handed you a piece of paper with writing on it and said it was new scripture, dictated to him directly from God Himself, you'd think he was a nutcase). Jesus himself never wrote a gospel, it was all written by his disciples. Originally it was all passed on orally, until someone wrote it down. Have we ever played the telephone game, kids? Things in the Bible cannot be taken literally or word for word as much of it was written down years or decades after it supposedly took place, and much of it was not written by prophets or Jesus' disciples at all, but by their followers.

Not the last reason, but the last one I'll put here for purposes of length, is that Christians run around bagging on everyone screaming about how you have to convert and repent or you'll go to hell. In the Bible, it says that Jesus will return at the end of days and judge man of all religions on their good and evil deeds, not on their religious beliefs.

Oh, wait, and one more reason. While Jesus preached "turn the other cheek," and God said "pray in your closet, not in the street," most professed Christians will punch you in the face if you look at them wrong, and a good 50% of them are willing to push their beliefs all over you and tell you you're going to Hell in any public place. I don't like hypocrites.

Islam: My biggest problem with Islam is that they have such a hard time dealing with western religions. Why, oh why, should they have such a problem, when in fact Christianity and Islam are nearly the EXACT same religion up until the point where Mohammed enters the picture? The Muslims, like the Jews, believed Jesus to be a prophet and nothing more. Then they had Mohammed, an extra prophet, after Jesus.

I have an obvious problem with extremist Muslim sects that crash planes into things as well, but they are a rarer breed than most people think.

Islam, for the most part, is a very peaceful religion. At least in theory. But, like Christians, I think many Muslims will kick you in the face as soon as look at you. I haven't read the Koran, so I can't say much more about it.

I always kinda wondered what happens when you run out of virgins after you die, though. :P

Judaeism: The Torah, essentially, is the same as the Old Testament. But other than Old Testament conflicts that I've already mentioned in the Christian section, I don't really have any problem at all with Jews. As far back as writing, there have always been Jews. At least their religion didn't just pop up out of nowhere and take the world by storm.

For those who weren't aware, God, Allah and Yahweh are all the same freaking God. The aforementioned religions are essentially all vastly different sects of the same religion. They all just split off at some point because of differences (the Jews were there first).

Native American, Hindu, Norse, Wicca, Roman/Greek Gods: These are all religions that I'm positive were created by the "first child, first parent" reference above. These people just invented Gods as a reason for things, because they had no science. In fact, every religion does it to some degree, but all of these multi-god/goddess religions have a god for freaking EVERYTHING, so it makes me believe that they were very likely just fabricated as an explanation of why things were the way they were. The only problem I really have with what remains of these religions today is that they are sort of silly and the practitioners don't see it. :P


Buddhism: I think these guys pretty much got it right. Screw religion, live right, be a good person, inner peace, enlightenment and all that jazz. I have no problem with Buddhism. Buddhists are okay in my book.

Scientology: Tom Cruise is retarded. Whatever I may or may not believe, I'm 100% sure there are no dead aliens living in all of our heads.

Atheists:The reason I don't consider myself an atheist is because I am open to new ideas. An atheist will deny the existence of anything supernatural or metaphysical. You live, you die, the end. The majority of atheists that I've met are as stubborn and close-minded in their belief in nothing as most hardcore reborn Christians are about their belief in God. Generally, they just aren't very pleasant to be around.

I think that's about all I've got for today. Possibly this made no sense at all, but I hope it did. If you don't understand my beliefs, maybe it at least gave you some perspective on who I am. :)

Cheers,

Jason

Upgrading

New year in my life, new blog. Makes sense, right? Shut up, it does. Right, then, let's move on.

Yes, so for those of you who aren't privy to the details of my life, today..or rather, yesterday, now, technically, was my birthday. I went home after work and cracked a beer and sat watching Dr. Who: The New Series, season 2, until around noon. Then I hung out with my neighbor for a little while before finally crawling into bed around four o'clock. Then I hauled my ass back out of bed around 9:50p.m. and got ready for work. What a day.

I appreciate all the birthday comments from everyone on my myspace page, by the way. Made my day. Actually, Hans calling me when I was just about to get off work made my day. (Amazing how when you quit smoking pot you can remember things like people's birthdays, right buddy? :P) Then I got calls from my sister, my brother, my mom and several friends.

And of course the once annual obligatory text message from Andy, my brother from another mother (we were born on the same day and year), who only sees fit to talk to me on our birthday these days. It depresses me a little since we've been the greatest of friends since about the 6th grade, but hey. He's one of my best friends and I've accepted that he's unreliable. I guess that's not entirely fair, though. In his defense, anytime I've ever actually really needed him he was always there. I'd just like to see him once in awhile when I just want to, but don't need to. Happy Birthday, Andy. Love ya.

All in all the day didn't suck. It certainly wasn't one to write home about, but it didn't suck. However, for those of you who forgot or didn't call, I expect expensive gifts or cashier's checks in large denominations. I'll settle for things like laptops, flat screen HD TVs, and Lamborginis.

So, another year goes by. I'm officially 27 years old as of about 6 hours ago. Where does the time go? I was in Superior a couple weeks ago for a few days and palled around with some old high school friends. Talk about a blast from the past. They always say when you run into people from high school nine or ten years later they will be different, but most of them look and seem pretty much the same. I wonder if I look the same to them.

I may not have gotten much done this past year in the lifetime achievement sort of sense, but I think I've grown as a person. As of today, the 21st, I have been officially single for one year. I haven't been single that long since my freshman year of high school. It's been good for me, though. I've spent a lot of time alone this past year, and while that may sound creepy and a little serial killerish, it wasn't like that. I think I'm more in touch with who I really am now than I've been in a long time. Instead of living for someone else, I've been living for me, and it's been good for me. I feel like I'm finally ready to put myself back out there without losing my sense of self, and for me that's a huge accomplishment.

I also made some small advances toward a career in writing this year by publishing Sacrifice on Variant Frequencies. The nomination for a Parsec Award got me noticed, and I've got some other things in the works that I hope I'll have ready for submission soon and while I can't put on my cover letter that I'm a Parsec Award Winner, I can still put 2007 Parsec Award Nominee.(Short Story, Speculative Fiction). :)

Let's see, what else. Oh, I'll be changing to the second shift at work. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday 3 p.m. to 11 p.m., and Saturday and Sunday 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. This shift will beat the ever loving crap out of my current Wednesday - Sunday 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. I'm pretty to excited to have time available for a social life again, I've almost forgotten what it's like. You know, to talk to people, and drink beer while not by myself and not shut the world out completely because I just want to get some DAMN SLEEP... :-D

Sleep. Sleeping while other normal people sleep must be great. I can't wait.

On that note, I think that wraps up my first big appearance here on blogspot.

Cheers,

Jason